Edgar Allan Poe - Alone

Alone


From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Edgar Allan Poe

Emmanuel Moire - Mon Essentiel

Searched but found nothing so far. Search in progress.

(Listening to Anathema - Everything)
I haven`t written anything in a while, I felt somehow disturbed by all sort of both known and unknown feelings, I couldn`t get focused on anything, specifically. If you don`t believe me, you should ask my book, "Vanity Fair" by Makepeace Thackary - I haven`t open the first volume since few centuries ago, or, no - I didn`t even bothered to close its pages, I`m sure it`s all-dusted at the moment...
I figured out that one of the ingredients of the recipe which keeps me alive and makes me smile is nothing more but dreaming. Every human individual is a very complex mechanism which has a completely weird way of functioning. Of course, weird - only to a certain extent because there are loads of phenomena which I totally understand but... It`s just... Whether I dislike or I`m too afraid to admit I feel like that, which makes me wanna runaway and never look back.
What is to be done when one is asked "What`s up?" and the only thing they can answer is "Everything is down, nothing`s up..." ? First of all - I assume - we should try to install order in the inner forum because tranquility comes out of that place.
Concerning myself, whether I`m too lazy to accomplish such a mission as scanning all the files I`ve stocked inside and delete the unnecessary, damaging ones or I`m simply too afraid to face them just because I know it`s not such a pleasant feeling to do it.
Once upon a time, Alina had a handmade sheep and she brought this special sheep into her flat in Constanta in purpose to make herself more cheer. In Romanian traditions there is this habit that sheep bring goodluck (No, it`s not true - I invented it due to the fact that I`m emotionally attached to my handicrafted ugly sheep).
But things didn`t turn out as she was expecting and hoping because her dog (also known as Coffee or, better, Dogzilla) ate the entire sheep, piece by piece. Besides, she wasn`t even at home while her Ugly Sheep went silently into the world of shadows...
Apart from these events, I have the feeling that I need to find something - It`s such a pressuring feeling! It`s like a mad, odd rush into my blood, I need to ahead somewhere or to someone, I need to have in front of me a certain smile on a certain face.
Usually, this kind of feeling ends up in finding comfort in somebody. Moreover, when it happens to reach this beatitude, I feel like a heavy pain it`s taken away from my heart, from my soul, I feel relieved for a while - but just for a while because the rush in me starts all over, from the very beginning, again and again and again, apparently energetic and restless.
But what happens when you discover that you`re mistaken? I mean, I felt this rush in my veins due to such a need of finding my comfort in someone but I failed to find it in the person I thought fit. So, there is the hypothesis of a strange theory regarding so many thoughts spinning fast and mad in my mind.
There was a lovely foggy weather outdoors today. I wonder if this the reason why my mind is so blurry. I`m trying hard to see what`s forward - I`m simply gazing at the horizon, knowing that that is the place I need to reach in order to (re)gain my inner balance but yet, I feel there`s an eternity till i`ll get there, especially because I know I`m mistaken concerning him and, step by step, I must set up distance in between.
Dreaming.
Disliking events coming from nearby reality (I mean, the reality as seen trough the 5 senses, as I like to call it... The reality reached by touching) lead me to start thinking of ways of escapism - the last frontier of one who deeply feels the scaring consequences of confusion.
I`m currently dreaming of a project - a very daring one, since I`m deep waters and, honestly speaking, I`m not such a good swimmer. No-no, wait! The naked truth is that... I really don`t know how to swim. So, this means I gotta catch up with my project while trying to learn how to swim and put troubles behind.
Alina and Mr. Trouble - it can be said that they have a special relationship, it looks like they`re close friends. No matter how hard she tries, Mr. Trouble is always back in her life. No-no, actually, if she tries to keep him away or out of her life, this means that only he thinks they`re friends, she dislikes his company but it looks that he won`t quit easily messing up her life.

Emmanuel Moire - Ca Me Fait du Bien

Jason Mraz - I`m Yours

"I'm Yours"

Well you've done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing, were just one big family
It's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Do you want to, come on, scootch over closer dear
And I will nibble your ear

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
But my breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and I laughed
I guess what I'll be saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love
so please don't please don't please don't.
There's no need to complicate
'cause our time is short
This oh this oh this is our fate I'm yours

Oh I'm yours

I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's our God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
Theres no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours, I'm yours

Mircea Eliade - Wedding in the Sky

Written while Mircea Eliade was at odds with the political beliefs back then - the book is a means of escapism, he was running away from the social constraints - he was in prison accused for nothing more than the "crime" concerning his personal view upon culture: his "outrageous" principles broadly displayed in his novels.
Mircea Eliade tells the story of three apparently normal people but in such a manner that can change your view upon human relationships for the rest of your life.



(To be continued...)

Alice Cooper - Poison